I am no Jessica Day (A Warby Parker review)

Let me preface this post by saying that I am as blind as a bat.

I got my first pair of glasses in the 4th grade. I was still riding the “what does cool mean?” train (not that I’ve ever gotten off said train), but like a good girl I wore my glasses every day.

Alas, the honeymoon period came to a halt when my poor little spectacles (second pair by this point), were smashed off my face and broken by a rogue basketball during a scrimmage at a church sports program for kids whose parents were taking parenting classes.

After that incident, I decided it was better to just squint my way through life. So for the next few years, I walked around blindly, until I finally realized that all I needed to do was switch contact lens solution brands. And Voila. My sight was (artificially) restored.

Flash forward over a decade, ten boxes of contacts, and five pairs of glasses later. Unfortunately, my glasses are pushing 2 years old now, are the wrong prescription, and for some reason won’t stay on my bridge. According to my optical technician, it’s because I don’t have a nose bridge, whatever that may be.

So, I decided to take matters into my own hands, and ordered a trial box of glasses from Warby Parker. I should note that a valid prescription is needed to order a real pair of glasses (which I will obtain in the next few weeks seeing as how I am long overdue for an eye checkup).

Anywhoo, for just $1 of a service charge, you can have 5 pairs of trial glasses sent to you in a lovely blue box.

My choice this go around leaned toward the more hipster-y side of the spectacle spectrum, most likely influenced by this lady.

(Oh Jessica Day. So hip. Also, can I have your hair) zooey-deschanel-300

So without any further adieu, let us walk through my five trial pairs. I should note that my hairbrush has gone missing, hence the “stuck my finger in an outlet” hairdo. (Ideally the photos would not be yellow, but alas, iPhones do not white balance.) C’est la vie.

1. Welty in Plum Marblewood



I rated this pair 8/10, although I only rated one other pair and forgot to rate the rest. I do like the square shape and more unique, but still neutral, color.

2. Crane in Whisky Tortoise



Another 8/10. I’m not savvy enough to be able to distinguish to well between the Crane and the Welty, but also a contender.

3. Theo in Blue Marblewood



The third in the squarish hipster family. Also hip, yet serious. I generally just like the name Theo, so for that, this is also in the running.

4. Clyde in Blue Marblewood



And here’s where we begin to descend into the abyss of “UGH.” Not regarding the glasses themselves, just my inability to wear round shades. I should have known. The Aviators have never been kind to me.

5. Sinclair in Midnight Blue



Oh round shades. I wanted to be compatible so badly. These people look so cool in you. I just wanted to be a part of your cool round glasses club.

Members of the cool glasses club:

Mindy-Kaling-Glasses giphy tumblr_m5i7osrutx1qkxuj7o1_500 actor-boy-glasses-hipster-hot-Favim.com-373597

Alas, ’twas not meant to be.

Anywhoo, once I get my eyes checked, I’ll be getting my Warby Parker order in. My gut is saying the Welty, although the Crane or Theo may sneak in.

Thanks to their cool, and affordable system, I’ll get to test all the pairs out over the next five days. Props Warby P.! ( I made up a nickname, that’s how much I like them)


Update: I ended up ordering the Theo frames. After my prescription was confirmed, Warby Parker sent me an email suggesting I upgrade to the higher index lenses, to avoid the coke bottle/Professor Trelawney look. Ultimately, that added $30 to the total, but still, $120 for a pair of prescription glasses was still a phenomenal deal. I received the glasses 6 days after placing the order. I’d definitely recommend Warby Parker.


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